Two of my marriages I ended. The one he ended hurt and scared me, but I survived. Now I'm married for the fourth time, and this one is a keeper. We're also in our 70's, so that helps seal the bond. "'Til death do you part" isn't that far away. And the funny thing is, I never dreamed of a big wedding. I'm sorry you suffered. I would have helped if I'd known you then. You've given good advice here.