That assignment sounded more like a logic class than an English class. I taught persuasion using 3 logical ideas that would appeal to the highest authority in the circumstance. Want a change in the college? Think of three logical reasons that would appeal to the College President. Too many English teachers go nuts when they should go simple. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it, as I did for 34 years. You give great examples. Love your humor.