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Members of the GOP Say the Darnest Things

They’re so cute when they make stuff up

Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox
3 min readAug 6, 2023
Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

I won’t be able to identify who said all of these, but I’m sure you can look them up.

I know it was Kelly Ann Conway who gave me my favorite “alternative facts.” Isn’t that adorable? We can all have our own facts — I believe mine, and you believe yours. I believe I’m a 4'11" retired school teacher. She believes I’m a bleeding heart liberal snowflake without a brain in my head — or I’m sure she would if she ever met me. (God forbid.) I believe I have an IQ of 131. She wouldn’t know what that means, but she might argue with me anyway. Except facts are facts. Opinions are opinions. You say potAto, I say potAhto, right? Not quite.

Did you know women can’t get pregnant from rape? A member of the GOP told me that a while ago. Her body knows to just shut that down. See? We can learn things from the GOP. Who knew? Especially all those women who got pregnant after they were raped. Someone should have told them sooner!

Slavery was beneficial to the slaves. Didn’t you know that? It was kind of like an apprenticeship program that lasted your whole life. You learned skills which would serve you later in life. Or serve your master, who owned your body and those skills. And the other benefits, too. Kids bothering you? No problem. Master can sell…

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Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox
Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox

Written by Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox

Former English professor ponders life, love, and how to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

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