Guns! Guns! We Need More Guns!

Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox
2 min readFeb 15, 2024

Everyone needs at least one, but more is better!!

Photo by Bro Takes Photos on Unsplash

Give guns as gifts! Nicely wrapped guns under the Christmas tree! Easter baskets with bunnies and guns! Birthday gifts! There’s no occasion that can’t be made better by adding guns!

Small guns for small people, bigger guns for adults. You can’t have too many. There’s never too much of a good thing!

We’re safe with guns! We’re all good guys, right? And what stops a bad guy? A good guy with a gun, so make sure you have plenty! That will make you a really good guy!

Keep one in your car! One under your mattress! One in the kitchen drawer — you never know when someone might break in by the kitchen door! One in the nursery to protect baby. One strapped to the back of the dog house — mustn’t forget Fido.

And, for Heaven’s sake, keep them loaded at all times. What good is a gun without ammo? If you have to load before you can use it, what’s the use? You’ll probably be dead by then! Load ’em up!

Forget arming the teachers to protect schools — arm the kiddies! Teach them to shoot as soon as they can hold the smallest gun you can find. Buy them bigger guns as they grow. By the time they graduate from high school, they are ready for a military grade weapon to take to college!

Carry concealed; carry open — do both, so you’re always ready for any situation. If you hear gun shots from any direction, rush right toward them with your gun drawn, ready to shoot whoever is shooting. It might be a bad guy with a gun! Maybe not, but shoot first and ask questions later.

Stay safe, everyone. Keep lots of guns by your side at all times. If you don’t have guns, only the bad guys will have them, and that would be dangerous. If we all have them, no one will dare shoot, because they’ll get shot.

Those who live by the sword die by the sword, so keep those guns locked and loaded to stay safe and alive. No swords here, by golly. Just the warm safety of lots and lots of guns!

By the way, I have never owned or fired a gun in my entire 72 years. I wonder how I’ve managed.

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Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox

Former English professor ponders life, love, and how to leap tall buildings in a single bound.